I find it somewhat fitting that my 100th post on this modest blog be about it's creator....Me!
I have been doing a lot of reflecting in the last few days over the past few years of my life...what has been good, what has been not so good, and what I need to focus on to help myself have a better life. At almost 29 I feel like I am 70. I take a lot of medication just to be pain-free enough to get out of bed. I have struggled with being very unhappy and unsatisfied with my life for over a year. I finally came to the conclusion that the thing I need to focus on is myself. Lest you think I am completely self-centered and self-absorbed, let me explain to you what I mean.
2008 is the Year of Me. I am going to focus more on things that will help me, better me, and make me a happier wife, mother, and person. Therefore, in no particular order,
1) It's all about nutrition. I am currently 35 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight and am at a point where I need to buy bigger clothes to have something that fits. That hurts me in two ways: it makes me unhappy because I am heavy, and it makes my health worse by making my bones carry more weight and my heart provide blood to more mass. We all know that losing weight is a LIFE CHANGE, not a diet. I have to change how I live my life daily to achieve this goal.
2) It's all about the body. In that I mean exercise. Exercise not only helps in the weight control arena, but also increases endorphines in your body to help you feel better. Naturally. I have set lofty goals in the past that have never been reached. This year I chose not to set a goal of, say, 5 days a week, but to start by moving more and then go from there. Just like eating, adding exercise is a LIFE CHANGE.
3) It's all about less stress. As a mother, wife, housekeeper, chef, and professional I have a lot of opportunities to be stressed in my life. And let's face it, I am stressed. Constantly. And a lot of it is due to factors that I have no control of. So my focus on stress is to try to manage the stress that comes naturally in life and try to stop worrying so much about the stress I can't control. As with all life changes, this is not something that will come overnight, but something I want to make a conscious effort to recognize.
4) It's all about mental health. This ties into #3. Mental health had a direct effect on every other aspect of a person's life. If you are happy, your body feels good, your blood flows better, your digestion is on track. If you are unhappy, your body follows suit. I struggle every day with some mental health problems that I can't completely control. But if I try to do more things that make me happy, then eventually my mind and body will follow.
5) It's all about private time. I never do anything for myself. Almost every mother I know can say this statement. But when I say that, I mean that I always put everyone's needs before my own, even people who I don't know. This can be good in some ways and I feel that I should do things for others. But it wouldn't hurt me to ask Patrick to pick up Morgan an evening from the sitter so I could stop at the mall and shop by myself. Or to stay at home a weekend rather than book every weekend from now through June with things to do. I think that this is the area that I lack in the most and the area that hurts me the most. I work so hard to make everyone else happy that I am miserable. 20 minutes of private time to read a chapter in a book isn't too much for one person to ask. I just need to learn to ASK!
So that is my thoughts on the new year. Life changing behaviors that I know won't happen overnight. I'll need a lot of support. I'll need a lot of people to understand. But most of all I will need to allow myself to focus on these things so that I can feel 28 rather than that just being my age on paper. I deserve it. Patrick deserves it. Morgan deserves it.