Weight on my heart

For the past two and a half months I have had a very heavy weight on my heart. I am not sure what it is from, or what exactly it is for. However, during this time I have been lead to read many blogs of some very strong Christian women. These women are all mothers of children with disabilities. Most of these mothers have lost their infant children over the past few months, just like Yvette Hostetter whom I mentioned a few posts ago.


Last week I was "blog jumping" through sites and came across a picture that stopped me dead in my tracks. It instantly brought tears to my eyes and I felt grief for the family of Baby Isabella, as if I had lost one of my own family members. Below is that picture (of Isabella and her older brother).



This picture is powerful, or at least to me it is. How often have you heard that a friend is expecting and taken for granted that everything will go along normally? I know I did when I was pregnant. I never expected there to be a problem with Morgan. When she was born and rushed to the NICU that all changed. I have never, ever taken my daughter for granted since she was born, not one second of her precious life. This picture reminds me every day that I had better not ever do so. Although God's plan is perfect, it's hard to think that He planned this picture before it happened. And it makes me scared for what my future holds. But it also makes me hopeful, for my life, for Morgan's, and for these women who have become a large part of my private prayer circle.


I realize today that perhaps the purpose of all this is God showing me that even in my darkest time, He is still with me. God has shown Himself through these women whose paths are very different from mine. Their pain is one I have never known and one I pray I never know. Yet every one of these women continue to praise God for their blessings and pray hard for their children. I too have prayed hard for these families who I will never meet. Yet I feel as if I have known these mothers all my life. I am amazed at their strength, and they have given me hope for a brighter tomorrow.