Good Reminders

HANDY LITTLE CHART - GOD HAS A POSITIVE ANSWER:

YOU SAY, GOD SAYS, BIBLE VERSES

You say: 'It's impossible'
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)

You say: 'I'm too tired'
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: 'Nobody really loves me'
God says: I love you
(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )

You say: 'I can't go on'
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: 'I can't figure things out'
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: 'I can't do it'
God says: You can do all things through me.
( Phil ippians 4:13)

You say: 'I'm not able'
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: 'It's not worth it'
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )

You say: 'I can't forgive my self'
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: 'I can't manage'
God says: I will supply all your needs
( Phil ippians 4:19)

You say: 'I'm afraid'
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: 'I'm not smart enough'
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: 'I feel all alone'
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)

Not the Joneses

Does anyone else ever get into a rut about where they are in life? I am sure you all know the phrase "Keeping up with the Joneses". It seems lately that has been all I have focused on. How we are not the Joneses (i.e. we don't have the things, family lives, etc that other folks have). I've even been known over the past couple weeks to throw my own personal pity parties, lamenting this fact.

Today I finally decided to cut that out and really, truly be OK about not keeping up with the other Joneses in our lives. We are not the Joneses (and no, I am not talking about my friend Heidi's parents because obviously we aren't them...duh). We are who WE are, where we are because that is exactly where God means for us to be.

It is so easy to let yourself get so bogged down with what other people have that you think you want in life. It had gotten to the point that I was embarassed about what we DID have. For example, we recently attended a birthday party for one of Morgan's classmates in a very nice neighborhood. Their house was large, airy, and actually very nice. The entire time I was there I kept thinking, I will have to schedule Morgan's birthday party at some park or something because I wouldn't dare have these rich people over to our little house. (And you know, just typing that out makes me ashamed that I ever thought that....but that's how we grow right?). I was so consumed with what they "had" that we didn't have, I couldn't enjoy the party. The house next door was for sale and as we left I asked Patrick how much he thought it cost. He said $300,000. I said no way, it's much more. Turns out, it was $500,000. Yes folks, I came right home and looked it up.

Sitting back now, I wonder why on earth I did that? It's obvious our circumstances are much different than Morgan's classmate. I have often gotten into the line of thought that my child goes to school with all the "rich kids" like she is some sort of poor outsider who was a charity case the preschool took on. How flawed is that thinking?

And the trap I fall into most is the "If we had/or didn't have" mindset. If we didn't have day care expenses we'd have more. If I didn't have to take all this medication we'd have more. If, if, if. But you know what? We DO have those things. And we have a LOT more.

Even when I get into this mindset, I am always thankful for what we have. But honestly, I always thank God for what we do have, followed quickly with "but it'd be great if we had...".

God is not an ATM. We cannot withdraw whatever we want from Him whenever we need it. We have lots of things in our life....credit card debt, student loans, car payments, AND a family home that continues to be loved and lived in, a beautiful daughter who lights up our lives, supportive family, vehicles, and during these trying times a hot commody...jobs.

There is not a day that goes by that I go to bed truly WANTING for something. If you look around our house you will see lots of things that are frivilous items to many other people. But we thought they were important, and that's why they are in OUR house. Not our friends. Not the people who go to day care, not the guy in the Cadillac Escalade next to me in the line of cars at a red light. Everyone's priorities are different, and the fact that my family can make choices in spite of the things we have to pay for, is such a blessing, and there are many families who would love to have what we have.

I guess this post is mostly a confession, and a challenge. For me, and for you dear reader. The next time I am feeling the "I wish we had..." thoughts, I want to immediately banish them. I want to focus on what we do have, and be truly thankful for those things. Today I want to be content in knowing that I am exactly where He intends me to be. I hope you can do the same.

Pulling an all-nighter

It's almost 2:30 in the morning, and I am up pulling an all-nighter. Not because of a sweet child who refuses to go to bed, not because I am studying for that final exam that starts in 7 hours (like I did so many times in college), but because Ralph is back in the hospital.

Thursday Ralph was back in Morgantown for the long awaited surgery on his right shoulder. If you recall his last visit to Ruby Memorial Hospital, you will remember that one of the consequences of his fall was a broken shoulder. In four places. On Thursday the surgeons had to go into his shoulder, re-break the bone that had already mended itself (albeit in the wrong way as far as function goes) and after a 4.5 hour surgery and 3 pints of blood later, they finished up and sent him for recovery.

He spent all day Friday in the Medical Intensive Care Unit. His wife, June, is completely exhausted, as she has been up with him, and worrying, since they arrived in Morgantown Thursday morning. Patrick and I have both had exhausting weeks at work. It's just been one of those weeks. Patrick is having one of his very rare headaches (which I think has been worsened by stress and worry). I think this is the only time I am thankful that I have a severe insomnia/sleep anxiety problem. I don't sleep without medication. And since that is a fact, I took it upon myself to volunteer for overnight duty with Ralph. I took over duty right around 10:30. At 1:30 AM the staff decided to move Ralph to a step-down unit (a huge answer to prayer, but why on earth did it have to happen in the middle of the stinkin' night?!?!). After getting acquainted with the new nursing staff (who have been SO wonderful) and getting Ralph settled, he has finally been able to drop off to sleep, and I hope it will be for a while.

Overall he is doing well. The surgery, while long and complicated, went well and the surgeons were pleased with everything they saw. The nurses have been doing a wonderful job at managing Ralph's pain. Our biggest concern, and the thing we need the most prayers about, is Ralph's blood pressure. Yesterday it was good. Tonight it hasn't been so stable. Right now it is 114/33. Good top number, REALLY LOW bottom number. He can't seem to stabilize his rates, and the staff is doing their best to help him with medication. There is no way he will be able to go home if his BP stays like that. It's the one thing that is really keeping me from resting either...every time I sit back to read a blog or start a movie, that darn machine beeps, reminding me that I am not at home, and this is not a dream.

I am so thankful to God that He has answered our prayers so far about Ralph. I am continually reminded that it could be so much worse, and that while a hospital can mean new life, renewed health, new abilities, it also very much means sickness, pain, and death. Yesterday as I was riding the elevator down to the lobby with my precious babe, a woman about my age was doing her best not to cry openly on the elevator. Her body heaved with sobs that she stifled in her husband/boyfriend/whatever's shirt. What made it so real, beside the very real tears, was her daughter, about 5 years old, who had her arms wrapped around her mother's leg, saying "Don't cry Mama" over and over. Talk about a tear jerker. I have never been on a longer 5 story elevator ride.

I am thankful that we are right now in the calm of this storm with Ralph. The storm is weakening. Our Captain has guided us through the worst, and we are hopefully moving into smoother waters. We are anticipating a few more days here in the 'Most Expensive Hotel in Town' and then Ralph will get to go back home, to HIS chair, HIS bed, HIS wife's cooking. Please pray if you are so led, for a swift discharge, and continued progress. And please, please pray for stabilization of his blood pressure. For the rest of the night I will be enjoying the company of a very good man, the peace and quiet of a corner room away from the nurses' station, and hopefully a Hannibal Lecter 4 movie marathon!

And speaking of college (coming full circle).....today was official "move in" day at West Virginia. There were a gazillion out of town drivers going the wrong way, clogging lanes, and creating a general craziness around town. I had one of those "oh my gosh I am old" moments earlier this week when, at 10:30 at night, I was waiting in a LINE of people to check out at the one cash register open in Walmart (I'll leave my grumblings about having 26 registers, but only one open for another day). A group of young college students, possibly band members or a staff of Resident Assistants got in line behind me. They were acting like all silly teenagers do...laughing hysterically over the fact that they were all standing in the same line (like hello? Don't you see that EVERYONE is standing in this line?!?!), making silly jokes about totally irrelevant things, etc. Without any warning, my brain sent the following thought: I wish those darn kids would just be quiet! Immediately followed was this thought: OH MY GOSH I AM SO OLD! And when I thought that, of course I did the math and sadly realized that I am old enough, at 30, to have been these freshmen and sophomores' babysitter!!! I quickly gathered my "responsible" purchase of items like a step ladder, toilet seat, and weight loss food and ran from the store, perhaps hoping that this wasn't really true, that I wasn't aging so fast that it seemed like yesterday that I WAS that freshman on move-in day.

Where on earth has the past 12 years gone???

Explained

I no longer have to wonder why she doesn't do the things I ask her to do!

A lazy Saturday (HA!) at the zoo!

This past Saturday Morgan and I met up with my Aunt Pattie at the Pittsburgh Zoo! After an hour of being totally lost in the Strip District (I need a Garmin BAD), I finally got to the zoo. It was a fun day!

Morgan was EXCITED to touch this ball python! I was gagging and shuddering inside until she turned around and said "Mama, you pet the snake?" ?!?!?!?!?!? Oh my gosh, NO. Of course I ran a quick finger down the snake, totally grossed out, told my Aunt it felt like a wallet (which it did but that's beside the point) and attempted not to be show her that I was SCARED. TO. DEATH. Ewwwwww...

I love how this black bear looks SO comfortable, foot up and everything.

Morgan is 4 inches taller than the newborn elephant. This pole was cool...even Ben Roethlisburger's height is noted :)

Isn't the baby so cute?! He was swimming just before this, putting his whole head under the water!

Watching a snow leopard take a mid-morning nap

Waving to Mama

Look how close my baby is to those gorillas!

We had a fantastic day. It was a million degrees, we walked for almost seven hours, drank a ton of water, laughed, made animal noises, and fell into bed early. I couldn't think of a better way to spend an August afternoon.

Thursday's Thoughts about....taking a mental health day.

After the complete craziness of the past few days at work, a very ugly breakdown at in front of colleagues (sorry Karen and Val!), a successful training session hosting VIPs from Social Security, and the general overall loss of control I have felt in all aspects of life, I decided it would serve everyone best if I took a day off. When I take days off for no particular reason, I refer to them as mental health days. I needed a break, and today I got one!

Morgan and I headed out to meet with one of my college friends, Brandy, and her son Simon, in Clarksburg, WV. I haven't seen Brandy in more months than we both care to admit, and being with her is always a breath fresh air for me. After playing at their house and eating a picnic lunch outside, we headed to the pool.

The Clarksburg pool has a fantastic kids pool. Brandy and Simon introduced us to this great place last year and I have been trying to get Morgan back there this summer. Since the kids are older (and taller) Brandy and I were able to do a lot of catching up while keeping an eye on the kids.

They played so well together. They jumped around in the water, ran cars all over the pool, and we even enjoyed some time in the big pool. Simon is a super splasher, and Morgan just enjoyed the freedom of being in the water and playing with Simon. She even made a new friend, who stuck by her side for about an hour.

After 4 hours at the pool, we parted ways with Brandy and Simon. You will be happy to know I did NOT have a repeat performance of the "literally made me vomit it was so bad" sunburn of last year. We stopped at Dairy Queen on our way out of Clarksburg. Today across the nation all proceeds from Blizzards were being donated to the Children's Miracle Network. Being the budding philantropist I am, I thought it would be a great way to help out (OK you can stop rolling your eyes, you're right, I went for the blizzard!).

Morgan played so hard she zonked out in the car. Driving home I felt so refreshed. A little time with a friend, out in the sunshine, listening to children having fun sure did help my mental health.

And isn't that what it's all about??

Wordless Wednesday

Reading you, loud and clear

Have you ever had those days where you are constantly operating in overdrive, speeding from destination to destination, until the last hours, days, or weeks have gone by in a total blur?

Welcome to my life.

I have been so busy lately. Work has been beyond nuts. I have been traveling all over the state, trying to run two existing programs while getting a third up and running, all while being my own secretary, graduate assistant, filing clerk, answering service, oh, and doing my job. Honestly I can say that I really can't remember what I have done in the past month. It's hard to remember what I did the last hour.

Over the past 24 hours I have had the unfortunate opportunity to be stuck in traffic, backed up for miles, due to what turned out to be some really BAD accidents. Yesterday Morgan and I were 13 miles from home after a very long day. The end was in sight. My mind was already racing past 8:00 figuring what order to attempt to get things done before I fell wearily into bed. All of a sudden we came upon stand still traffic. Knowing that no road construction was going on in that section of road, I surmised that it was due to an accident. No problem, I thought, surely traffic will begin flowing soon. As we sat there I kept telling Morgan what was going on with the trucks and cars in front of me. Then, all of a sudden, I realized there was no traffic coming the other way. That means only one thing.....Life Flight. Sure enough, I glanced up into the sky to see the helicopter making wide circles around the interstate. Our lanes kept creeping up slowly. We came upon the accident scene just as the helicopter (or welly-copter as Morgan said) touched down. The scene was chilling. A minivan with a totally crushed front end and top, five ambulances, and of course, the helicopter. We got to drive right by the helicopter as they were rushing the patient to the craft. Morgan and I said lots of prayers while we sat and drove by. Once we cleared that accident we learned there was another accident less than one mile ahead of this one (turns out there were a total of 3 accidents in the span of about 8 miles). Big rigs were literally parked on the road. Bottom line, it took 45 minutes to go less than two miles. When we finally got home, I couldn't have been happier.

Today work was horrible. Two unscheduled "fires" that needed to be attended to, food not ordered, doctor's appointments that were scheduled with me but were not placed on the doctor's calendar. The final straw for me was spilling about 1/2 of a bottle of water all over my desk. What a mess. My stress level reached a very ugly peak today, and at 4:00 I decided it was time to go home and regroup. Rushing out the door and thinking about what needed to be done at home, I was on my way to get Morgan. On my way to get Morgan, less than 2 miles from the exit, I drove into stop and go, super slow traffice, past yet another horrific accident. Again, the interstate lanes going opposite the direction I was going were completely closed off. Apparently a car from our lanes went across the median, flipped, and landed on a car going in the opposite direction. If yesterday's was bad, this was ten times worse.

It was while I was driving past today's acciddent that I finally got the message. Instead of using lyrics to smack me in the face, God chose a more subtle, but very powerful means of delivery. And that message, you ask. Two simple words.

Slow. Down.

Seems simple right? If these folks had been going slower, perhaps an accident could have been avoided. If I slowed down, perhaps water wouldn't have been spilled all over my desk, or frustrations taken out on support staff, or e-mail messages going unreplied to. I those moments as I inched past the emergency vehicles and people running everywhere, I took a moment to think about those two words.

Slow. Down.

While my work life won't slow down for many weeks, I got the message. Tonight's projects went undone. I spent time eating dinner with my family watching Scooby Doo. I had a tea party with Morgan. I took some time to go shopping by myself. And those projects? Sure, they will be there tomorrow. No the house is not clean like I want it. But if I don't slow down things will go undone, missed, or messed up. The ramifications of not slowing down are huge and the consequences can cost me much more than I am willing to give. I am the only one in control of the speed of life. It's time to give the engine a break and move from fifth to third. Perhaps the Driver of my car will appreciate it if I take some more time to appreciate the surroundings He has provided in my drive of life.

Tonight I hope you can take a few minutes to think about those two powerful words. And if you see me in the next few weeks, you might want to gently remind me of them as well!

Lyrics that smack you in the face

I have always had a strong love of music. Some songs I love simply for the beat/rhythm (for instance You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon). Songs that always make you tap your toes or launch into dance every time you hear them. Most I love because the lyrics are so powerful, and speak to me in ways that the simple words would never do. Have you ever been listening to a song when some or all of the lyrics come out and smack you in the face (a good smack, not a bad one)? I truly believe that these songs come across our hearts, not our minds, and are Heaven-sent because Our Creater truly knows what is on our hearts and minds.

Today I have been thinking a lot about sweet Ellen. How much I miss her, both as my child's keeper, but also as a friend and confidant. Wondering how her wonderful husband, Ron, was doing only 6 weeks after losing her. I was listening to some music in the background when Joe Nichols' song I'll Wait For You came on. It was a song I had never heard before, so I was listening a little harder than normal. It's a really nice song, about a husband and wife. When the last stanza came on, I was frozen in place, literally with fingers stopped in mid-air as I typed up a memo. Tears welled up in my eyes, and eventually fell by the end of the stanza. The words that I heard are these:

He didn't stop all day to eat a bite

And he finally got there around midnight

The doctor said, she's in a better place

She said to give this you this note just in case

And it said, I'll wait for you at Heaven's gate

Oh, I don't care how long it takes

And I'll tell Saint Pete I can't come in

Without my love and my best friend

Oh, this ain't nothin' new

Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

P.S. I love you, too

Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

How can anyone not believe that God listens, hears, knows the things we need to hear? Even though it's not directed at me personally, what powerful lyrics. They prompted me to write a note to Ron, telling him we still pray for him, and how much we love his family. This is not the first time I have listened to a song that has fully gripped my heart. Many are not as sad as this, but all are very touching and most come when the time in my life needs this type of reflection.

If you're in the market for flesh colored play dough...

Have I got a deal for you! The "recipe" for flesh colored play dough! Purely by accident I have discovered (well to be honest Morgan discovered) if you mix the following colors of play dough, you will get a nice shade of peachy/flesh color: orange, yellow, green, and red. It takes a lot of manipulation, grubby toddler fingers, and a little spit (not from me I can assure you), but here is what you get...

Our table is a honey oak finish

Morgan showing off her "patient"

Future surgeon?? I hope so!