Pity? Party of One, Right this way

Tonight I am having a small pity party, right here in my living room. Today one of my medical conditions is causing me a lot of pain from my lower back down through my toes. It basically feels like someone beat me with a sledgehammer just moments ago, and the pain and throbbing in every one of my joints and bones is pretty intense. That comes with the territory of this condition, and on days like today when the weather dips it's even worse.

Now, I am not throwing this pity party for my condition or the fact that I am in pain. That's no big deal when compared to the Reason for the Party. When I have days like today I cannot play with, pick up, or allow Morgan to sit on my lap. I cannot phyically get on the floor to play, or run around, or pick her up in my arms. Today is one of those really bad days that just the weight of her body on my lap causes excruciating pain. Morgan is not feeling well today. She has a cold with cough and stuffy nose. Nothing any normal mom can't deal with on a daily basis. But tonight I am not a "normal" mom. And my baby needs me. I just had to tell her she couldn't sit on my lap which caused her to cry "Mama, Mama, Mama" in a very pitiful, stuffy nose and tears cry while reaching her arms toward me.

How do you tell your 20 month old child that Mama wants desperately to pick her up, snuggle, and make her feel better, but she just can't? How do you explain that Mama hurts some days, and others she feels great. How do you convey that you are not rejecting her, but you just can't take care of her needs today? That's why I am throwing a pity party. I just want to feel better so I can make Morgan feel better. So now I am going to get in bed with the electric blanket (heat lessens the pain some) and read a little and try to rest so I feel better in the morning. Evenings are always the worst time of day, pain wise, for me, and mornings are best. So I will wait for Morning, when I can pick up my baby and give her all the love and attention I can.

And tonight my prayers will be especially for those who are in worse pain than me, because I know things could be so much worse. I pray that God's healing hand will reach them and ease their pain tonight.