Not Me! Monday

Welcome to the Not Me! Monday! blog carnival. MckMama hosts this weekly post to be brutally honest about all the things we certainly would never do as parents, wives/husbands, family members, and members of the human race! Feel free to stop over at her site to see what everyone else has NOT been doing (her post this week is hysterical!).

And now...for things that that I most certainly have NOT done in the past week or ever in my lifetime.

I most certainly have never spoken to my husband over the phone while using a public restroom. That would just be a total violation of privacy, not to mention it would probably gross him out.

I have never eaten fruit snacks out of the diaper bag and then told Morgan that there was nothing in the bag to eat. That is literally taking (pseudo) candy from a baby! How rude!

Along the same line, I would never sneak into the kitchen to indulge in a second piece of cake. And I most certainly would never shove the entire piece into my mouth and turn my back when I heard the pitter patter of little feet running quickly toward the kitchen just because I didn't want to share the cake. What kind of lesson would that teach my child?

I have never witnessed Morgan sharing a bite of noodles off her fork with the dog and absolutely would never let her then put the same fork back into her mouth. No not ever!!

I have never heard my boss coming down the hallway and picked up the phone to pretend to be takling to a client. That trick would surely never work, especially not multiple times.

And I have never put off doing the dishes to write about things I don't ever do. Nope, not me!